Skip The “Sexy” Halloween Costume & Try These Instead

Halloween really is the perfect excuse to show a different side of yourself, or act like someone entirely new. That’s just one of the reasons we think the whole “sexy” costume thing exists. These naughty store-bought ensembles let ladies show a little more skin and don a few ruffles for an evening.

The thing is, we really wish people would be more original with their choices — particularly when they go the pop culture route. Every party we attend this year will probably feature a few sexy Disney princess, half a dozen sexy superheroes, and at least one character misappropriated into a racial stereotype. Sometimes, it feels like our entire childhood has simply been reduced to a series of bustiers, garter belts, and short, flouncy skirts. C’mon, ladies, we have the internet. There are tons of other characters out there.

If you’ve decided to go the sexy route, don’t follow the pack this year. We’ve come up with some clever, weird, and so-wrong-they’re-possibly-right halloween costumes ideas.

1. Minnie Mouse

We get it, it’s funny to turn Disney’s symbol of wholesome femininity into the opposite. It’s just over.

Instead: Pizza Rat
This won’t make any sense next year, but it’s hilarious right now.

2. Catwoman Or Black Widow
All you’re saying with this one is that you look good in a bodysuit. Congrats.

Instead: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle
What? A sexy turtle? That is everyone’s fantasy isn’t it? But look, it’s a bodysuit!

3. Little Red Riding Hood
This is the one you wear when you want a million creeps asking you to call them the big, bad wolf.

Instead: Cookie Monster
Why is this a thing that exists? Don’t worry about that, just roll with it. There’s also a Big Bird version, if your taste runs that way, although then you won’t get all the free cookies.

4. Dorothy
For some reason, it seems extra wrong to turn a girl who’s lost and far away from home into an object of the male gaze.

Instead: Super Mario
Now, here’s a character who is never lost.

5. Daenerys Targaryen
Just so, so overdone. Unless you can liven this up with, like, real dragons or something — yawn. Sorry, Khaleesi.

Instead: Transformer
It’s just so weird, it’s right. And everyone already thinks cars are sexy.

6. Princess Leia
Excitement for this year’s Star Wars means this Comic-Con staple is going to be all over the place. But it’s just ick to dress as a “slave.”

Instead: Yoda
Way to flip expectations on their little green head. If you must, pretend this caption is written in Yoda-syntax.

7. Snow White, Cinderella & All Other Disney Princesses
We have enough problems with the antiquated gender roles in classic princess fairy tales. Now you have to add bare midriffs and garter belts into the equation?

Instead: Ursula
Oh, yeah. Look at those seductive tentacles.

8. Wonder Woman
She is an old-school badass, which is nice. Just another one we’re bored of.

Instead: Valkyrie Women Halloween Costumes
Marvel’s Asgardian superheroine is rumored to be making her way to the big screen in Thor 3. This is your chance to get ahead of the trend.

9. Pocahontas
Repeat after us: Other people’s cultures are not appropriate sexy costumes.

Instead: Clown
You can go creepy or sad with this one. Either way, it’s going to elicit some awesome (and sometimes horrified) reactions from everyone you meet.

10. lice In Wonderland
Again with the subverting little girl characters?

Instead: Cheshire Cat
As Catwoman has proven, cats are hottt.

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